


Humanities

by winterweather



Category: mcyt
Genre: George lives in the US, M/M, Sapnap and Dream live together as friends, Skeppy and Bad are in denial, THIS BOOK IS UNFINISHED, Tommy Wilbur Tubbo and Techno live with Phil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:15:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28487424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterweather/pseuds/winterweather
Summary: A texting fic in which Tubbo adds random numbers into a groupchat for a class project and ends up creating chaos
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch, more later - Relationship
Comments: 44
Kudos: 503





	1. fuck off u dont even have a name to ur number yet u have no right to talk

**Tubbo** added **407689122** , **0206871998** , **8045671234** , and **12** others

_January 6th_

**Tubbo** : Hi! My name is Toby aka Tubbo and for my humanities class I have to do a social experiment on which languages you hear on the day to day basis. If you wish to take part, please state your name, where you live, and which languages you hear on the day to day, otherwise, feel free to leave this chat!

**6046821997** : Hey Tubbo!! My name is Sam and I am from Vancouver, Canada. I normally hear English and French, and I am fluent in both.

**5098170290** : I'm Callahan and I live in Washington. I hear English

**2815271977** : aye im sapnap i live in texas and i hear english and spanish as well as greek but thats cause my step mom is greek

**6075241882** left the chat

**Sapnap** : bye loser ur not as cool as us

**5527910019** : HOLA I AM QUACKITY I LIVE IN MEXICO AND I HEAR SPANISH AND ENGLISH BUT MAINLY SPANISH

**9136618829** : My name is Ranboo and I live in Kanas, and I hear mostly English

**3107716611** : Heyyy my name is Zak or Skeppy and I live in California so I hear a lot of different languages but the most common ones in my area are english and korean

**3108901821** : im punz and i also live in cali but i hear more arabic then korean

**Tubbo** : Okay! Thanks to all for your input! You're all a ton of help!

**Callahan** : np

**Sam** : Of course! Good luck kid :)

**Quackity** : would anyone like drugs

**Skeppy** : what the hell

**Sapnap** : fuck yeah man what u got

**—————**

_January 12th_

**0206619219** : Sorry what is this I was asleep

**Punz** : asleep for 6 days?

**0206619219** : Don't patronize my sleeping schedule, just answer my question

**Tubbo** : It was a project for my humanities class! I had to ask strangers what languages they heard from where they were from, which by the way I got a 98 on it!

**Sam** : Wow good job!!!

**0206619219** : Oh dang so I missed it?

**Tubbo** : Yeah, we're all done now, so you guys can leave the chat if you want.

**Callahan** : no

**Tubbo** : oh?

**Callahan** : no lets all keep talking

make friends

wooo

**Tubbo** : Okay!!

Do you guys mind if I add my brothers?

**Sapnap** : WAIT THISLL BE FUN

NO DO IT TUBBO

EVERYONE ADD THEIR FRIENDS

IF U WANT

**Sapnap** added **4078814482**

**4078814482** : sapnap please im trying to sleep what is this

**Sapnap** : DREAM SAY HI TO OUR NEW FRIENDS

**4078814482** : hi

**Sam** : Hi Dream!

Sapnap let the poor person sleep

**Quackity** : person

**Ranboo** : No wait Sam makes a valid point

what is everyone's pronouns???

**Sapnap** : he/him

**Dream** : ^^

**Ranboo** : ok me too

**Sam** : Me aswell

**Ranboo** : ok well who he doesn't go by he/him

**Callahan** added **5097142516**

**Callahan** : that's alyssa she uses she/her

**Alyssa** : Hi!! <33

**Tubbo** : Hi Alyssa!

Sorry I died for a second my brother stole my phone

Oh right I was gonna add them

**Tubbo** added **1136782918** , **1139918182** , and **1139082217**

**1139082217** : technoblade.

**Technoblade** left the chat.

**Sapnap** : i-

add him back

ill fight him

cmere technoblade

wop pow

smack

**Tubbo** added **Technoblade**

**Technoblade** : heuh

**Sapnap** : its on sight

**Technoblade** : okay.

**Sapnap** : you are terrifying please do not hurt me

**1139918182** : HAHA PUSSY BOY SCARED OF TECHNO

WHAT A LOSER

**Sapnap** : who r u

leave me alone

**Tubbo** : Omg I'm so sorry about him

That's Tommy he's kind of a handful

**Sapnap** : tubbo theres a

what is it

66%

i think

rate

of me fighting ur siblings

**0206619219** : my mans had to think about it

**Sapnap** : fuck off u dont even have a name to ur number yet u have no right to talk

**0206619219** : my name is karl

but i am texting this from george's phone

so this is george's number

but

karl

**Sapnap** : add ur number then

**George** : ok

**George** added **8641718991**

**8641718991** : karl

**Sapnap** : i have a feeling u r an extremely attractive man

**1136782918** : Wait wait how does that work

So George has a 020 area code which is UK

But Karl has a 864 area code which is USA

But Karl is texting from George phone?

How

**Punz** : silence, no name.

**1136782918** : Fuck you, my name is Wilbur, thanks.

**Karl** : george moved from uk earlier this year idk he still has the same number

**Wilbur** : Huh weird

**Karl** : stalker type beat

**Wilbur** : How

**8046618928** : what the hell is this

who are you all

**Sapnap** : hey maybe u should read up

**8046618928** : bitch

**Sapnap** : right back at u

**Tommy** : say yoor name or perish

**Callahan** : yoor

**Tommy** : you can perish first you stank hoe

**Callahan** : :,c

**8046618928** : why should i state my name

what if its a ploy to doxx me

**Skeppy** : That is a valid concern

Virginia

**8046618928** : SEE HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT

**Sapnap** : youre kind of a dumbass arent you

area codes sweetheart <3

**8046618928** : my name is purpled

**Punz** : what kind of name is that

**Purpled** : says you what the fuck

"punz"

**Punz** : wow original arent you

youre probably like 13 i bet

**Purpled** : im probably older then you.

**Punz** : yeah sure you are

**Karl** : GEORGE AND I ARE DYING OUR HAIR

WELL WERE BLEACHING BUT LIKE SAME THING RIGHT

**Sam** : Was that an impulse decision?

**Ranboo** : does anyone bleach their hair NOT on impulse?

**Sam** : Good point

**Karl** : yes there is a possibility it was on impulse

**Callahan** : are you gonna show the results

**Karl** : SURE WE CAN HANG ON LET ME GET A BEFORE PICTURE OF GEORGE AND I WITH OUR BROWN HAIR

**Quackity** : HELLO CHAT

**Sam** : Hi Quacksters

**Karl** : *tap to download image IMG_1*

george is the one on the left and im the other one

HI QUACKITY

**Sapnap** : oh my god

i was correct u r incredibly handsome

**Karl** : awh thank you <3

**Tommy** : i still aint ever seen 2 pretty bestfriends

**Tubbo** : Tommy!!!! That's so mean Karl and George are both very beautiful

**Purpled** : sapnap rlly be flirtin with someone he doesnt know the age of lollollollol cringe

**Sapnap** : I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING TO YOU WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME

**Purpled** : YOU CALLED ME A DUMBASS

**Sapnap** : I WAS JUST TELLING THE TRUTH!?!

**Dream** : haha sapnap being a simp

**Sapnap** : IM NOT A SIMP IM JUST APPRECIATING KARLS BEAUTY

AND FUCKING SAYS U

U LITERALLY JUST DROPPED YOUR OHONE WHEN U SAW GEORGE AND IM THE SIMP?

OHHHHKGEY

OHKGEY

**Sam** : Oh my

**George** : Okay Dream I see you

**Dream** : NO YOU DONT HES LYING

**Karl** : dream thinks george is ugly confirmed??

**Skeppy** : woah dream thats a bit harsh

**Sapnap** : thats cold dream

**Callahan** : dream thats so mean

**Dream** : i hate you all so much already

**George** : Even me?? </3

**Karl** : omg dream you made him cry

hes CRYING

**Dream** : .

**Quackity** : its okay george

ill love you

come here

pucker up baby

**George** : Ew

**Sapnap** : i just ate an edible

**Dream** : what the fuck where

when???

**Punz** : just now cant you read he said he just ate one

**Sapnap** : see punz gets it

**Dream** : yes but WHERE you’re literally right next to me i didnt see you eat it

**Sapnap** : its called magic

**Dream** : dont smirk at me

ok yknow what

sap and i are gonna go get high goodbye

**Sapnap** : HELL YEAH

**Quackity** : who is left

**Punz** : me

**Quackity** : wanna kiss

**Punz** : im lying im not here


	2. Im cool, Im young

_January 13th_

**Dream** added **9706619182**

**9706619182** : hello??

**Karl** : meow

**9706619182** : !!

meow!!

**George** : Meow

**Technoblade** : Meow.

**Purpled** : why are they meowing

**Dream** : idfk i just wanted to add my friend not deal with furries

ant please say something

**9706619182** : meow

**Dream** : other than meow please youre gonna make me cry

**9706619182** : i am antfrost but just call me ant

**Karl:** WELCOME ANT!

**Quackity** : GOOOOOOOOOD MORNING AMERICA!

not good morning to the cat boys

**Wilbur** : Don't you live in Mexico?

**Quackity** : yes

am i not allowed to say hello to america? goddamn..

**Wilbur** : I don't like you

**Quackity** : enemies to lovers trope

**Antfrost** : kiss! kiss! kiss!

**Skeppy** added **3106728815**

**Skeppy** : say hello bad

**3106728815** : Hi!

**Skeppy** : everyone this is bad

**Tommy** : what is bad

**3106628815** : I am Bad!

**Tommy** : why are you bad

do u do drugs

sapnap does drugs too

**Sapnap** : i was summoned

i do weed thats not drugs

**Punz** : weed is a drug yes

**Sapnap** : wow no way dumbass

i meant i do one (1) drug not plural drugs

**Bad** : Language

**Punz** : oh my god no

ur not one of those ppl that dont allow cursing are u

**Skeppy** : he tries to be but just ignore him

**Bad** : :/

**Sapnap** : fuck

**Tommy** : bitch

**Punz** : dick

**Bad** : Stop!!

**Tommy** : what do you say instead of the actual curse

**Bad** : How do you know I do that?

**Tommy** : bcuz every person that doesnt curse has like a replacement word

**Skeppy** : he uses muffin

**Sapnap** : muffin???

**Skeppy** : yeah he'll say like "you guys are muffined"

**Sapnap** : okay then

**George** : Karl uses honk

**Sapnap** : wow thats

adorable

**Punz** : simp

**George** : eyes

**George** added **3046789918**

**Tommy** : who is that

**George** : thats actually none of your business

**Tommy** : it actually is my business

im a minor so that person could kidnap me

i have a right to know who they are

**Punz** : hahahaha minor

what a loser

**Tommy** : HOW IS BEING A MINOR A LOSER

IM COOL

IM YOUNG

UNLIKE YOU

OKD FUCKING MAN

**Punz** : im 23 bitch thats not old

**Tommy** : NO YOURE THE BITCH

IM 16 IM NOT EVEN THAT MUCH OF A MINOR

**Sam** : "Not even that much of a minor"

**Tommy** : STATE YOUR AGE

THERE IS NO WAY IM THE YOUNGEST

**Sapnap** : tommy pick a struggle

if being a minor was so cool u wouldnt have to defend yourself

**Tommy** : shut up.

**Tubbo** : I'm 17!

**Tommy** : yes i know that, tubbo.

**Sapnap** : im 19

**Tommy** : didnt ask

**Sapnap** : yes u fucking did shut the hell up

**Purpled** : im 17

**Punz** : HAHAHAH

FUCK YOU

INFANT

**Purpled** : WJAT

**Punz** : "im probably older than you"

IM 23 ALMOST 24 BITCH SUCK MY DICK

WAIT DONT

THAT

I PHRASED THAT WRONG

**Callahan** : hand over mouth

**George** : Punz...

**Punz** : IT IS NOT WHAG IT LOOKS LIKE

THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT

**Tommy** : it isnt what it looks like? cuz rn it looks like u just told a minor to suck ur dick

weirdchamp

**Karl** : what did i walk into

**Dream** : that is indeed weird champ

**Sapnap** : HI KARL

HOW ARE U DOING

**Karl** : i am doing well thank u!

mine and george's hair is done

**George** : Yes it is

Mine feels so dry and dead

Karl's is still soft it isn't fair

**Karl** : yeah so since mine isnt destroyed im gonna dye it pink

**George** : No i'm gonna dye it

**Karl** : ugh yeah ok fine george is gonna dye it

**Sam** : Does George now how to dye hair?

**Karl** : no but he wants to and im too nice to tell him no even tho i know hes gonna honk it up

**Sapnap** : oh he said it thats adorable

**George** : Karl :( That's just as mean as just straight up telling me no

**Karl** : daw poor gogy

pat pat

**Skeppy** : gogy?

**George** : Don't mock me, GEPPY.

**Skeppy** : HOW DO YOU KNOW THATS MY NICKNAME WHAT THE FUCK

**Bad** : Skeppy! Language.

**Skeppy** : BAD DID YOU TELL HIM???

**Quackity** : stream it

**George** : Stream what

**Quackity** : the hair dying you air head

**George** : Oh

**Karl** : stream it?

**Quackity** : yeah like twitch

**Karl** : thats a lot of effort just to dye my hair

wouldnt a group facetime work better

i mean we all have apple so

**Quackity** : lame

**Skeppy** : We could make a discord group and u could turn on your video

**Karl** : that could work

**Tommy** : discord?????

nerds loooooooooool

**Wilbur** : Tommy you have discord shut up

**Tommy** : YOU SHUT UP YOU WHORE

**Wilbur** : oh phil~~~

**Tommy** : wil stop

thats not funny stop

i was kidding

im sorry

**Sapnap** : pussy, innit?

**Tommy** : dont use british terms you stupid american

**Purpled** : dont you mean stewpeid?

**Tommy** : goodbye

**Punz** : bye tommy! was nice talking to you!

**Tubbo** removed **Punz**

 **Tubbo** removed **Sapnap**

 **Tubbo** removed **Purpled**

**Karl** : tubbo what!

free my mans he aint do nothing

**Tubbo** : no

they stay out

**Techno** : Tommy, give Tubbo his phone back.

**Tubbo** : oh shut up pig boy

TECHNO WAIT IM SORRY

ILL GOVE IT BACK

**Tommy** : SEE TECHNO I GAVE IT BACK AHA!

NO NEED TO TATTLE

snitch.

**Techno** : What was that?

**Tommy** : nothing.

**Tubbo** : What did Tommy do while he had my phone?

**George** : Removed Punz, Sapnap, and Purpled

**Tubbo** : Do any of you guys have their numbers? I didn't save them and I don't feel like scrolling up

**Karl** : i have sap's

**Karl** added **Sapnap**

**Sapnap** : FUCK U TUBBO

**Tubbo** : It wasn't me!!! It was Tommy!!

**Sapnap** : i shouldve known

fuck u

fucking child

**Sapnap** added **Punz**

**Punz** : hearts been broke so many times

**Wilbur** : I have been rejected 27 times

**Punz** : sorry wil didnt mean to call you out

**Quackity** : that is 27 people with no taste

**Wilbur** : Oh my god

Quackity I want to have sex with you

**Dream** : woah ok

**Quackity** : ENEMIES TO LOVERS I CALLED IT

**Bad** : Are we going to add Purpled back?

**Sapnap** : no fuck him

**Bad:** Language .-.

**Callahan** added **Purpled**

**Sapnap** : fuck u callahan

hehe

.-.

o-o

O-o

HEHE

owo

uwu

OwO

:T

:P

HEHEHEHE

:o

:O

**Tommy:** SAPNAP STOP SPAMING

**Sapnap:** NO 

BITCH

:c

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

ಠ_ಠ

﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ 

**Sam:** Is he high again?

**Sapnap:** ಠ╭╮ಠ

**Dream:** possibly 

i will go find out

**Sapnap: ◉_◉**

**Dream:** yes

he indeed is

i cant SMELL IT

**Sapnap:** XD

XD

XD

xD

Xd

XDDDD

XDDDDDDD

xD

XD

xD

xxDD

**Skeppy:** SAPNAP

ISTG

ATOP

FUXKINF

SPAMMINF

**Sapnap:**...

.

XD

**Skeppy:** FUCK OFF

————————————

HI EVERYONE!!

I love all the appreciation that this story is getting!!! Thank you so much for the comments, they mean a lot!

I changed the dates of the fic because i didnt feel like writing in christmas so ignore the fact the book is in jan now instead of aug 

DREAM AND SAPNAP MOVING IN TOGETHER??? LIKE WHATTT THATS CRAZY

NOT GONNA SAY I MANIFESTED IT BUT,,, I WROTE THEM IN AS ROOMMATES THE SECOND I STARTED THIS BOOK SO EYES EYES EYES EYES

except i wrote in that dream moved to texas instead of sap moving to florida (and you guys will find out why eventually) BUT SAME DIFFERENCE, RIGHT? 

AND THE LORE STREAMS TODAY?? 

FUCKIN CRAZY

ANYWAY

Hope y’all are having a good day, and to my fellow Americans, stay safe! 

Love you all <3


	3. PLEASE READ!

Hey everyone! Sorry for the lack of posting with this fic, theres been so many things i’ve been wanting to change that I just lost motivation to right new chapters, new headcanons and such.

So heres my solution; 

I will be rewriting this book! 

The plot will be the same, i’m just going to write the characters differently, organize it more for myself, and attempt to add all the smp members for maximum chaos.

The rewritten version will be up by the end of this week or at most the end of next week, and to make up for my absence I will be dishing out new updates as fast as I can possibly manage.

You can keep this book in your library and I will update it one last time when the new book is posted!

**Author's Note:**

> so since this has to do with numbers i had to give everyone an area code so i tried to make their area code match where google said they were from but for some i had to make it up, like i dont think ranboo lives in kanas lmao i just picked it randomly. also this is my first time writing on ao3 so bare with me + happy new year


End file.
